Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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