i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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