oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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