she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
