did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
