I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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