Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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