If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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