You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
His nipple licking is glorious
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