I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
