Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
