Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
