she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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