I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
