The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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