Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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