Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize