Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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