Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm always down for nudity.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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