do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
