I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
