I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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