Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
