Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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