Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
