So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
