Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
