My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
