i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
