9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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