Me too!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
