I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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