I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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