you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
