I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
