as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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