so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
