so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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