you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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