Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Watching her eat just hurts me
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
