I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish my penis had an off switch
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
