you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
