I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you never un-have a 4some
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
