Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize