I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
