kristin has been a bad kristin
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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