you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
