remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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