I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
