bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
