if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
