Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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