My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
