FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
