all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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