We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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