Grow some girl-balls and come out already
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
