I'm really into asian looking animals
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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