sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
