Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
