only if we run a train.
done.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
