Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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