If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
