problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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