i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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